Yes Virginia, there is a conspiracy

Honey, you're getting older and it's about time you learned a thing or two.  Everybody is out to get you.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying 'it's a tough world', or 'people aren't nice sometimes'.  I'm saying, everybody in the world is out to get you, personally.

Everybody in the world hates you personally, Virginia.  And they will do everything they can to get you.

"but why mr. joe?"

Because you're different.  Remember in school, when they told you, 'Everybody is different, and that's what makes the world so wonderful!  You're different, and that's what makes you special!'

"yeh"

Maybe they believed it, when they were saying it.  They said it to convince you it was true, but they also said it to try to convince themselves that it was true.  But deep down inside, people hate you for being different.  And they're too stupid and dishonest to admit it.  It's exactly those things that make you Virginia that they hate. Because those are exactly the things that make you different.

Deep down inside, deep deep down in the icky places that people don't like to go to, they twitch and tremble when they notice you're different.  Deep down inside, they think that if you're different, either you have something they don't have and that's why you're different, so they want to kill you for having something they don't have, or that you lack something they have, in which case they want to kill you for being weak and stupid.  Deep down inside, they want to kill you just because you're different, because you don't perfectly fit in.

They hate you because you're Virginia.  And they will do everything they can to mess you up and hurt you, because they hate you.

Everybody in the world is in on it.  And secretly everybody in the world laughs when something bad happens to you.

"but thatz not fair!"

What's your point?

"i have a stumichaik."

And Virginia?

"yeth?"

Santa Claus is a Nazi and your parents would sell you into slavery in a heartbeat if the price was right and they thought they could get away with it.

Nite nite honey.